bayonetwork

Friday

2008-06-28T03:13:52Z

God dammit.

I feel so fucking out of it right now.
I've been through a lot in the past two months.
A LOT.
And sometimes I seriously feel like I
won't be able to get out of this spiral I seem
to be going in. Since I quit my job, everything
just seems to be going downhill.
My credit card got maxed out.
As did my checking account.
It seems like no one is hiring,
and I'm so desperate for a job right now.
I need money so bad.
I have no idea how I'm gonna pay
for the next months credit statement
I don't know how I'm gonna
pay my next car payment.
I might fucking lose my car.
My 2004 Toyota Celica GT.
God dammit.
My checking account is at nil.
I don't even want to think about
my car insurance payment.
Jesus.

And my parents can't help out ONE FUCKING BIT.
They seem more interested
in buying random fucking shit.
Like new tile for our hallways, kitchen,
bathroom and living room.
And a completely new stove.
And a new bathtub.
And a new toilet.
And a couch.
OH WAIT MAKE THAT TWO.
Oh and don't forget they want to get new carpet
for the bed rooms, Ivan!
And a new fridge!
What the fuck, seriously.
Here I am fucking stressing every fucking day
about how to pay for gas, and my car,
and the credit card, and all they can think of is
buying new, random shit for the house.
And what do they tell me?

ahahahahaFUCKTHEBOTHOFYOU.

There's too much shit going on right now for me.
I'll space this out over two entries, ha.

Wednesday

2007-11-08T06:38:22Z

Alright, once again it seems it takes about two months
for me to actually take the time to update this shit.
Here I go on my rant,
I'll just ramble for the next thirty minutes.
Awesome. hahah

Well, I've still got my job at Toys 'R' Us.
It's pretty fuckin legit, I get 8 dollars to the hour,
and I get paid weekly, not bi-weekly.
I've been working a lot,
and when I'm not working I'm probably at school.
I seriously hardly ever have any free time, it sucks balls.
I've decided I'm gonna take a break next semester
to just work and chill.
I may look for a better paying job, cause I've also
decided that within the next three months
I'm moving the fuck out of my house.
Whether I get a better paying job or not,
I'm still getting out of here.
It's gonna be different, but I'd like to think of it
as a good different.
Cody and me are looking for apartments
and houses together, it'll be fuckin legittttt, haha.
I got a car.
It's a white 1995 Acura Integra.
My dream car, I'm in love. haha
Not gonna lie, I'm probably
gonna spend like $10,000 on that car.
Money well spent, in my opinion.
No success in my dating game, WHATSOEVER.
There's this girl in my Graphic Design I class I have a fatty crush on.
I've been meaning to talk to her since day 1 of that class,
but I haven't had to balls to go up to here yet.
Hopefully I do tomorrow though.
I have to, or my opportunity will be done.

I guess that's it.
I'm still game for talking to new friends on AIM.
Do ittttt!
;D!
xtheProtagonist

Monday

2007-08-14T02:48:50Z

Alright, this is getting fucking old.
I'm getting sick of this bullshit.

Well, I guess I'll start things off on a good note.
I haven't been on here in a while.
I've forgotten how much I liked it.
I finally got a job, at Toys 'R' Us, it's legit.
I'm saving up money for a car,
a tattoo, and a few other things.
But right now, my main focus is saving
for the car.
I'd like a 1995-ish Honda Accord.
If I had enough money,
and if I could find a decent looking automatic one
I'd want to get an Acura Integra.
Those cars are fuckin LEGIT.
After the car I'm saving up for my tattoo.
I'd like to get a sleeve,
but my job won't let me have exposed tattoos
so I'm gonna get 1/4 length sleeves
and after I'm done there I'll be able
to get the rest or something.

On to the lame stuff.
My parents still treat me like a fucking kid.
It's ridiculous, it's getting really old really fast.
They find it unbelievable that I rebel the way I do.
They think a child should be all righteous
and pure and that I should listen to
and follow everything they say.
Which is complete bullshit because last
time I checked this was my life and I had the reigns.
I'm 18, a fucking adult, not some naive little kid.
"Because I said so" isn't going to fucking cut it anymore.

I've had NO relationship possibilities.
I suck at relationships.
I'm so done with being single,
I want a girlfriend.
I want someone I could share experiences with.
Romantic and passionate experiences,
as well as really incredible ones.
But I can't seem to find anyone.
I think I'm setting the bar a little too high,
but I like to think that it's high because
I'm not okay with just settling with any girl.

I seem to be losing my friends
at an incredibly alarming rate.
The closest ones I had are either
leaving for college or what have you
or I just haven't remained in contact with them
causing distance and separation.
I haven't hung out with good friends
in a really long time,
it makes me really sad.
I don't like talking about this subject too much
I tend to get upset really fast with this.

I think I'm done.
And the journal entry below this one still applies.
It isn't a joke at all.
I'm seriously looking for new people--
for new best friends, or really good ones.
Either way, I need this.
My friends used to be a constant in my life.
Now they aren't, my only constant is music.
Family is just, ok at best and it's only sometimes.

ugh.

Saturday

2007-08-05T00:55:25Z

I'm looking to meet some new
people here in San Diego county.
I'm really into metal, I like these bands:
Between The Buried And Me, Bring Me The Horizon,
Glass Casket, The Human Abstract,
The Devil Wears Prada, Architects, At The
Throne of Judgment, As Blood Runs Black,
Underneath The Gun, Elysia, Knights of The Abyss,
and Suicide Silence just to name a few.
I also really like tattoos,
and I hope to get some in the new future.
I'm also a BIG fan of
graphic design and photography.
So if you like the same things I do,
if you're 18-21 years old, and if you
live in SD, please start talking to me on my AIM.
My SN is xtheProtagonist.
I hope to hear from some new people soon!
Guys and girls BOTH please talk!
I want some good, new friends!
=]

Tuesday

2006-11-21T20:40:53Z

It's Tuesday--
you know what that means. ;D
Taco Tuesday playaaaaaaaaa
hahe, sick as deeeee.
Well, plans for today were cancelled.
Not too happy about that.
I'm beginning to doubt things.
I don't like when I doubt things.
I want this to work.
But there's nothing coming from
her side of the deal, so, I don't know.
I realize I suck at this.
I'm not good at any of this.
I should just become a priest or something.
lol
effffff word.
I'm kidding, of course.
I want there to be something.
Something with her.
I want something so badly

gahhhhhhfbaoyewgfosrbtvwtefrqwelb

Thursday

2006-11-03T03:40:31Z

I'm sick of being the guy
that wants a girl but
always get's screwed over.
I'm tired of it, and it has
me exhausted. I feel drained.
I feel tired of looking.
Looking for an interest.
I just want this shit to happen.
Soon.
Fuuuuuck.
I want to move on already.
I'm almost positive I am too.
But I get hesitant.
And scared of what could happen
if I open myself
up to another girl,
only to feel like
shit at the end.

I have a pretty good
idea who I like know.
But--I don't know. I doubt
so many things with it. If it works
then that's awesome.
But..

aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Friday

2006-10-28T01:04:40Z

I've been doing better lately,
I'm way fucking stoked for
the party tomorrow
it's gonna be sweetass
I was going to be Leonardo
from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
but Target sold the
one I had on hold.
Bastards.
Now I have to be Robin
from Batman and Robin.
Whatever, it's a
boy's size, so it'll do.
lol

Don't feel like typing
a whole bunch, I won't.
And I'm out.
:D

Thursday

2006-10-20T04:36:43Z

Alright, here we go again.
Not in a good mood
so I decided to vent
on this.
As usual.
I'm not going to be
too specific when describing
things or people
or instances, so bear with
me and the vague stuff.
And if you're actually taking
the time of day to read this,
thank you.
You care, and I love you for it.

Alright, I hate that I have
no idea what to do right now.
With so many things in my life.
It's fucking lame--
girls, job, college,
and other shit of the like.
I don't know who I like--well,
scratch that. I do know, but I'm
not sure if I should give
it an effort, cause I don't even
know it would work.
I'm horrible at relationships.
First girlfriend lasted a weekend.
What a grand way to start my relationship
experience off.
~~Thank you, Anna Sloan.~~
Next one was better, but
worse near the end.
My one with Anna, I was totally
indifferent about the break up.
I didn't really care, but my last one
was horrible at the end.
I won't say names--you know who you are.
I'm not quite over it, but I'm dealing.
I am trying to genuinly fix things.
And I'm sorry if it doesn't feel like it,
but you need to make a fucking
effort if you want this to work too.
My last two "flings" or whatever ended in
disaster. I said no to one, well,
not technically, and the other girl
and I sort of drifted apart.
And now, well, whatever.
I don't even fucking care.
I regret.
Now, I kind of like someone, but another girl
as well.
I like two girls.
Good for me--slash not.
I have no idea what to do, and, bahhh.
Fuck. I'm not talking about this, sorry kids.
If you'd like to hear me out, personally
and truthfully, then you have my number.
By all means call it, I'd love to vent and talk.
About everything.
I don't even know what to do, as far as girls go, right now.
Um, next on the list: job. I need one.
I want to work at 150 Grand really bad.
No joke. I hear the tip are great,
and everything is amazing.
So, yeah. I'd like to work there.
Um, college. Yeah, I'll probably
go to Palomar.
Then transfer after two years
to The Art Institute of San Diego, CA.
I'd like to get a Bachelor's
in Graphic Design/Commercial Art.
But, I'm not a good student.
I suck at school.
Haha, that may get difficult.

Um, so, yeah. I don't even know why I'm
in such a fucking shitty mood.
I should be happy,
I get to hang out with some
of the best kids in all of
Escondido tomorrow.
It should be amazing.
I'm excited.
For that and the game.
Or not.
Whatever.
I'm out.
I'm done.

Saturday

2006-09-30T23:21:54Z

Alright, well, I'm not
in that good of a mood
right now.
Yesterday was havoc.
I was expecting to
do something
nice and cute.
And I got effed.
I was waiting for
a phone call
and in return I got to:
not do what I
had planned on doing.
I took a nap.
I didn't go to my last
Homecoming game.
Stayed in.
Alright, this is exciting.
I'm getting hesitations.
I don't know if that's good.
Allison and I talked
all night yesterday.
That cheered me up plenty.
So, thank you Allison. =]
I'm done with my semi-rant.

And I'm done with this entry.
asflquiwghegrlhdvsbfrotahdsvf

Thursday

2006-09-29T04:06:09Z

I don't even want to talk
about yesterday.
Fuck my 3rd period teacher.

Alright, anyway, that's
besides the point.
Today was pretty good.
SSA Training was today.
It wasn't as intense
as last years,
but whatever.
I hope I'm in
Jenny's group.
That'd be sweetass.

[ The Following Edited: 9|30|06 ]
I don't feel sick anymore,
as previously mentioned
in my previous post.
So that's good.
I have a good idea
of what I want now.
I'm confused.
This sucks.
I really have no idea.

Alright, well, I'm done.

Wednesday

2006-09-07T01:59:05Z

Dammit, I have no idea.
I really don't, and I hate
that I have no idea
as to what to do.
I need to talk to Beth
soon, no joke.
She should be able to
help, she usually does.
She's amazing, it's all good.
I seriously have to make a
decision soon, time's passing
me by and I haven't made one
yet. asdfhliuehrltuhoweuihrtb
Alright, cool.
I need to get my shit together
and under control.
Fuck, I want a girlfriend,
I'm so sick of being single.
effffffffff.

Monday

2006-09-04T17:31:51Z

No school today-
and I'm bored.
What a surprise.
I don't feel good, granted,
not because I'm sick, I just..
whatever.
I have no idea what to do.
asdgfkyagewghrtqef
lhbasdhfblabrotblabsdhbfw
I really have no idea what to do
and I have to make a decision.

Sunday

2006-07-09T19:14:28Z

Bored out of my mind.
I wanna go to the mall.

Summer's been alright,
I guess.
Summer school equals gay,
but that's normal.
One more week and I'm
done with that crap.

I just recently found
out I can't go to
Sounds of The Underground,
which pissed me off.
Bad. =[

So, yeah, bored,
I'm gonna jet.

Tuesday

2006-06-13T22:17:51Z

EFF YOU CRUEL IRONY.

Saturday

2006-06-11T02:18:22Z

I want to go to San Diego right now.
And take night shots of the city & lights.
Really bad.

And I can't stop think about her. Bahh, hopefully--yeah.

Saturday

2006-06-11T02:16:06Z

No lie, I'm bored as eff.

EDYAC meeting was shit today. Nice job being prepared,
well planned, and being a great leader, Immaculate Heart of Mary.
You make us kids here at Resurrection Church proud, knowing
Marcial is going down there. Great job guys! Yeah, erm,
you guys sucked. No joke. Don't deny.

Phone chat soon. You know who you are.

Talk on Monday?

It's summer.
=]]]

Saturday

2006-06-04T04:19:52Z

LMAO

I just added myself on this.

... it's funny, shutup.
=]

Saturday

2006-06-04T04:18:02Z

Bahh, nothing tonight. She wouldn't answer her phone. Oh well, I have all of next week.
=]

Saturday

2006-06-03T19:46:20Z

Second day of summer.
Be effing jealous.

I may ask tonight. Over the phone or something.

Not on AIM. I'm not that immature. To spill your guts over AIM. Have some courage, my God. Yeah, I'm talking to you.

But yeah, I'll ask. Here's hoping.

Friday

2006-06-02T21:46:08Z

It's Friday--and I'm a senior. Holy eff.
When I think about it, I feel like
I've only been giving school a
half-ass effort. And I shouldn't.
I have to shape up. This is senior
year. This is the first year of the
rest of my life. After all of this,
I'm out of here. Probably to San
Diego. Maybe Palomar. Major? I
don't know yet. Most likely something
in Graphic Design. I'd love that--but
I'd also love being a 5th grade teacher.
Bahh.. whatev. I don't care right now.
I'll worry about that once school starts.

It's summer. I'm gonna savour every
minute of it. I'm not going to let
it fly by.

Do I fancy a girl? Indeed.

Should I do something about it? Indeed.

Will I? Yeah, when the timings right.

Fuuck. I'm such a hopeless romantic.

kingphillip25th @ 2006-04-17T18:13:00

2006-04-18T01:16:10Z

Monday+back to school after spring break=t3h lamez0rzXcore!!!11!one

Blehh, AP Bio sucked. As did Spanish. PS; I hate Whitworth.

Birthday this Wednesday, and surprisignly enough, I don't want anything. Blehh..

Thursday

2006-04-14T04:25:34Z

My mom is really lame.

Ask me whether or not I'm uber pissed off right now.

Well, surprisingly enough, I am.

Thursday

2006-04-13T17:01:07Z

Gahh, parents can be really lame. I don't know whether or not my mom's going to let me go up to APU with Alex, Sel, Devin, Tommy, Alyss, Brittney, and whomever else.

Dammit.

Monday

2006-04-11T02:16:23Z

Way excited for this upcoming weekend. Thursday equals Sel-Sel and me playing a sweet match of tennis. Am I excited? You bet I am. =]

Friday 'til Saturday equals me going up to APU with Sel, Alex, Devin, Alyss, and Brittany. Yeee, d00d.

Friday

2006-04-01T06:05:32Z

Sel: same thing for our other friend
Sel: el cap.
Sel: i dont think i know his name at all
Sel: lol
Me: LMAO

Ahaha, good times with Sel-Sel.

=]